New Year, Same You: 5 Resolutions That Build on Your Strengths

January tends to be a time for reflection and resolutions, but the truth is, there’s no time like the present to focus on progress. Whatever day you happen to be reading this, that’s a perfectly good day to start. And while building on our weaknesses is a noble endeavor, why not also consider your best friend from high school’s advice in your yearbook to “stay the same,” at least in a couple of areas?

5 Resolutions To Keep Doing

1) Own Your Strengths

We teach children not to “brag” about their strengths. Unfortunately, this often leads us as adults to downplay our strengths and magnify our weaknesses, even to ourselves. Taking the time to acknowledge the things you’re successful at can increase feelings of self-efficacy, self-esteem, and tenacity (one of my strengths, by the way, is a large vocabulary).

2) Be Bold and Plan For (Some) Failure

As babies, we take risks. It’s how we learn to talk and walk and decide what we enjoy eating. Most of the time, it turns out well; we may get a large handful of birthday cake. Other times, a parent hands us a lemon, and we end up with something really sour. You can’t be bold and creative when you’re afraid of failure. Try being curious and engaged in the process instead. Experiment. Then you’ve succeeded, regardless of the outcome. If you want a practical framework for turning that experimentation into progress, read more about reaching your goals while enjoying the ride.

3) Eat That Birthday Cake

Speaking of birthday cake, many New Year’s resolutions focus on weight or changing how we eat. But enjoying a piece of cake at a celebration with family or friends does not need to become a test of willpower or a reason for guilt. Our overall patterns matter more than any single choice. Consider making room to mindfully enjoy food and the experiences surrounding it. If your relationship with food feels more complicated than this tip accounts for, our Food For Thought specialty can help you explore it further.

4) Allow Yourself to Be Wrong

My son used to get frustrated in school when he didn’t feel challenged. He once said, “Mom, I’m just knowing, not learning.” Of course, when he started “learning,” he needed support for “being wrong” on occasion.

This doesn’t stop in elementary school. As adults, we should continue to find opportunities to learn and grow. This may look like starting a new hobby or taking a work promotion. It could also mean admitting mistakes to loved ones. Without challenging ourselves this way, we tend to rationalize our own behavior, or worse, put the blame on the other people involved. Take an inventory of how you can learn from your interactions.

5) Seek Guidance From Friends

There’s a pervasive message in our culture that women, especially, should be able to do all and be all for everyone in their lives. The road to being overwhelmed is paved with good intentions: too many “yeses,” and not enough support. Ironically, that lack of support is often not because it doesn’t exist, but because we don’t accept it. Be vulnerable and open with your friends. Ask for guidance when you need it. Share your struggles. Burdens are easier to carry when the weight is dispersed, and other people may help give you perspective if they have a less biased view. Let your friends know in advance how you want them to help. Start by saying, “Can you give me your opinion?” “What would you do in this situation?” or “I just need to vent for a minute.”

These resolutions bring up both excitement and a little nervousness for me because I plan to practice them too. Here’s to a year filled with challenges, insights, and new opportunities for learning and growth, whenever you choose to begin.