Helping Your Child Cope With The Death Of A Pet

Waldo, the distinguished looking Golden Retriever in this article’s cover picture, had been a large part of our family for 14 years.

He taught my husband and me how to be consistent and set boundaries in our household. He kept watch over our oldest son, sleeping next to him every night. Our young Goldendoodle (“Henry:” in the middle of the picture) learned the doggy-ways of our house from him. Waldo lived a life that reminded us to slow down and enjoy the little things like an evening walk, or a delicious bone. I guess the rest of us never really got the bone thing, but you get the picture. When he passed away, I knew that our boys would need a lot of support in dealing with the death of their beloved pet.

The Death of A Pet Has An Especially Large Impact On Kids

Dealing with the loss of a pet can be difficult for everyone, but can have an especially large impact on children. They may not have experienced a significant loss in life yet. Their bond with a family pet may be even more intense than their bonds with some of their human relatives. They may not remember a time in their life when the pet wasn’t a part of the family.

Helping your child deal with the death of a pet:

1) Allow them to talk about their pet:

Discuss good times, funny memories, and the chaos that the animal brought to the home. Just like adults, children need the opportunity to process the memories of a loved one who has died.

2) Keep a token:

Allow your child to keep a reminder of your animal. This could be a collar, a favorite toy, or a picture. Many people hold a service for the lost pet and create a spot to bury the remains, spread the ashes, or plant a plant as a memorial. Keeping tangible items that honor a pet can be therapeutic.

3) Give extra hugs, or give extra space:

Be aware of how your child handles emotions. Other feelings besides sadness may be present: anger, loneliness, and guilt may all make appearances. Provide comfort and hugs if your child seems to be extra needy. Other times your child may seem more irritable and may need space. Honor this too. He or She may be losing sleep, thinking about their loss, or sleeping less deeply if their pet was a part of their nighttime routine.

5 Signs Your Child Is Depressed Or Anxious

4) Be aware of the routine change:

Much of the time, kids are responsible for the daily needs of pets. They are constantly reminded of the loss by the change in their responsibilities (this may be the only time they aren’t complaining about dog poop!). Be cognizant of reminders that may be impacting your child.

5) Don’t hide your feelings:

Showing how you feel and talking about it openly sets an example for your kids. As adults, we sometimes feel like we need to put on a “good face” for our children during trying times. It’s OK for them to see us cry or express sadness. Share stories about your own family pets from when you were young and how you handled those losses.

The value of a pet can’t be measured

Pets can be a great way to learn the important lessons of responsibility, patience, perseverance, unconditional love, and the circle of life.

Our family was honored to have Waldo grow with our boys and his legacy is forever noted in his contributions to the development of our family. He loved chasing rabbits in the parks and greenbelts near our home. Hopefully, he is now successfully chasing those bunnies that he was never able to catch while living with us, here on earth.

Jamie Dana

Jamie Dana

Jamie Dana, MC, LPC, helps teens and adults overcome mental roadblocks and achieve their goals to live an elevated life. Specialties include research-based interventions to address stress and anxiety, trauma, self-esteem, eating issues and struggles of the gifted and high-achieving population. For more information about her techniques, services and additional resources to help you succeed, check her out at or follow us on Facebook and Instagram. You can also Contact her to schedule an initial appointment today