Reach Your Goals While Enjoying The Ride: Goal Setting

I definitely have a Type A personality.

If you’ve read anything about the traits of firstborn children, that’s me. I used a day planner until I purchased my first smartphone, and continue to carry a notebook for to-do lists with me at all times. In fact, I can be so productive that I will not write something on my list, or set a resolution, unless I intend to follow through. Once it’s written down, I’m like a dog with a bone.

So What Could Possibly Be the Problem With This Seemingly Wonderful Trait?

If you are a Type-A overachiever, then you know how difficult it can be to stop what “needs” to be done and just enjoy the moment. Being a super-producer focused on the end product can be energy-sapping and create serious burnout. This leaves little energy for the people and things you love.

And What About Those Who Want to Produce, But Find They Can’t?

These people often identify themselves as the “ultimate procrastinator.” They become so overwhelmed with all of the amazing things they want or need to do that they can’t get started on anything. The great news is that it’s totally possible to reach your goals and enjoy the ride, regardless of what your struggles are.

How To Reach Your Goals While Enjoying The Ride

1) Pick Something You Enjoy Doing

Obviously, it’s a lot easier to be engaged in an activity or process that’s rewarding in and of itself. Not everything you need to do will fall into this category, but if you start here, you can gain momentum and trust in yourself that you can get things accomplished, as well as develop strategies to use with other tasks that are less enjoyable.

2) Set Micro Goals and Pare Down

Don’t get overwhelmed by the big picture. Think about what the larger goal is and work backward. If you want to do X in a year, what do you need to do each month? What do you need to accomplish each week? What steps do you need to take today? Set goals that are so small it’s almost impossible not to follow through. Write them down and go from there. You climb a mountain one step at a time.

3) Ready, Aim, Fire, Adjust

What would you be if you had decided your lifelong career plan as a child? (I would be an out-of-work astronaut.) I see a lot of clients stressed out about the fact that they feel like they’ve made certain life choices and now it’s “too late” to do something different. Some of these clients are 19 years old! The average college student changes their major three times. Setting goals, taking actionable steps, and then determining if the course is correct is part of the map. By analyzing what’s working and what isn’t, you can adjust your course and get better results and fulfillment in life.

4) Be Process-Driven, Not Results-Driven

Success is more than the end result. Often, pursuing one goal brings unexpected benefits along the way. Improving your eating habits for medical reasons may also affect your energy, mood, confidence, and daily routines.

Changing your eating habits for medical reasons can also affect your energy, mood, confidence, and daily routines. Teaching kids to learn for the love of learning, rather than solely for an A on a test, creates smart, curious doers who persevere long after the tests are over.

I first started running (one of my current passions) because my middle school cross country coach gave us Little Debbie Snack Cakes at the end of the meets. Now, 25 years later, I run because it makes me feel good mentally and physically. As another bonus, it allows me to connect with a great group of friends who meet early in the mornings a couple of times a week. These secondary goals have allowed me to continue developing new goals that push me to grow.

5) Expand Your View of Success

Set goals like you’re applying for colleges. Educational consultants suggest having a safety school, an aim school, and a reach school. The same logic applies to other goals.

• Safety Goal: This is the goal that’s almost impossible not to achieve if you show up.
• Aim Goal: This is the goal you’ve really prepared for and have a great chance of getting if you stay the course (this is your real “goal”).
• Reach Goal: This is the goal you’d be over the moon to achieve, but it’s a pretty long shot. Many people set this as their initial goal. Then beat themselves up or quit early because it’s so out of reach.

By setting goals this way, you find success in hitting near the mark, rather than feeling a sense of failure if you were overly ambitious, hit a snag, or fell short. Being flexible in both your view of success and results reduces all-or-none thinking, and allows you to find pleasure in the ride.

6) Get Outside Help

Sometimes we develop fixed ideas about what achievement should look like. This can make it difficult to shift how we think or act. Working with a clinically trained therapist can help you understand what’s keeping you stuck and develop a more flexible approach to progress. This may be especially helpful when the pattern involves the achievement pressure, perfectionism, or burnout addressed through our performance enhancement work.

Goals matter, but so does the life you’re living while you pursue them. With smaller steps, room to adjust, and a broader definition of success, you can keep moving forward without missing the ride.