Struggling With Imposter Syndrome?
Do you feel you are undeserving of your successes?
I once sat down with a client who had moved to a new area and started a new job after graduating from college. She found herself feeling anxious in the transition. “I feel like my boss is going to figure out that I don’t actually belong here,” she told me. “I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. What if they made a terrible mistake in hiring me? I feel like a fraud.”
This was coming from a very intelligent, high-performing woman. She had graduated high school a year early and finished college at the top of her class, all while holding a job in the demanding field of IT. Despite a lack of experience at her present job, she very clearly was not lacking in skillset, knowledge, or ability. Instead, she was experiencing imposter syndrome.
Welcome to the Inner Circle of High Achievers Dealing With Imposter Syndrome
If this is you, take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. Estimates vary across studies, but research reviews suggest as many as 70% of people experience this phenomenon at some point in their lives. It tends to hit during periods of transition, new responsibilities, or notable achievements, leaving a person questioning their abilities or readiness for the tasks at hand and leading them to experience an influx of anxiety. If that transition-related anxiety sounds familiar, it’s also worth learning more about how anxiety shows up more broadly.
Shifting Perspective
Most people experience moments of self-doubt. What’s important is not letting these thoughts impact your actions. Take these steps to shift perspective.
Take Comfort in Numbers
Remember that feeling out of your depth at times is normal, and that others feel this too, even if they aren’t admitting it. Use this knowledge to ask questions and be open to learning, knowing that your efforts are benefiting all of those other “imposters” around you.
Notice When You Dismiss Yourself
Are you quick to discount your strengths? Most people with imposter syndrome chalk up their successes to one of three areas: luck, circumstance, or accident. We’re often taught to be humble, and that’s important. But completely dismissing hard work, opportunity, and success causes a person to feel undeserving. Notice when you downplay your part in your own successes. For example: yes, you may have benefited from your parents paying for medical school, but you earned the degree.
Accept and Acknowledge Others’ Gratitude or Praise
When someone pays you a genuine compliment or acknowledges your abilities, own it. Be a gracious receiver of compliments. These are reminders that you do, indeed, have what it takes to be where you are in life.
Celebrate Your Current Successes
We’re often so focused on the next big thing that we barely pause when we reach the goal in front of us. Instead of taking in the accomplishment, we raise the bar and start chasing whatever comes next. Taking time to reflect on recent successes gives you a more accurate picture of your progress.
Keep a “Brag” File
Remember that box your mom kept when you were a kid? Mine was full of things I drew, stories I wrote, and report cards that said I “talked too much in class.” That was physical evidence of my childhood highlights, and it was fun to revisit. This should continue into adulthood. Keep a “brag” file where you store thank-you notes, published articles, awards, and other evidence of your success. Visit the file to shore up your self-esteem when self-doubt creeps in.
Think Ahead
Write a letter to yourself celebrating your future successes. We often think that once we hit a certain goal, graduating college, receiving a promotion, losing those last five pounds, our lives will magically change. The problem is that people often discount a success the moment they reach it, and simply replace it with a new self-imposed demand. By writing a letter to yourself about a current goal now, you can look back later on how you felt before reaching it, and actually give yourself credit for the work it took to get there.
If self-doubt like this is a pattern that shows up again and again, especially around your career or achievements, individual counseling can help you build a more grounded view of your abilities. And if you’re a high-achiever who’s dealt with this feeling your whole life, our work with gifted and high-achieving individuals may also resonate.
So there you go. Use these tips and reframe your thoughts. And if you still feel like an imposter, take some comfort in knowing even someone as successful as Tina Fey has spoken openly about feeling like a fraud despite her own achievements. You’re in good company.
Client examples are composites, not individual clients, and details have been altered to protect confidentiality.
